The Cocktail Hour

I think people always remember what their parents drank. At least I do. My mother had a scotch and my father, bourbon―every night. Mixing it with anything else, especially a soft drink, would have not only destroyed the flavor, but also been considered tacky to them in those days, probably still. And, though a routine occasion, their cocktail hour seemed, at the same time, exciting and mysterious.

But it was when they had friends over to partake in the libations that it was thrilling. I would sit at the top of the stairs, after being banished to my room several times, and eavesdrop on the conversation. Without exception it would always shift to a subject like politics, or something equally off-limits. I loved to see my parents with a drink; it made them seem like people, not disciplinarians telling me to do my homework or practice piano.

More recently, my husband and I attended a party where he ran into a familiar face mixing cocktails. It was a bartender who’d served many a drink at his parents’ home years ago, when people actually had parties at home, unlike today, where it’s more typical to meet at a bar or restaurant. For this, the bartender expressed true regret: “You young people don’t have parties anymore,” he scolded. “I used to be all over town back then bartending. People knew each other and had fun together.”

My husband took the admonishment to heart, and that very next Christmas, we had a party at home. I did a few things right (we had a full bar with a bartender and hors d’oeuvres) and many things wrong (I didn’t rent glasses or hire waiters to pass food), but each time―it’s become somewhat of a tradition―I’ve learned from my mistakes.

You see, in a day and age where seemingly anything goes, when it comes to drinking, there are rules (aside from age requirements). And while we may all know them, either through practice or upbringing, it never hurts to get a little refresher. In the case of the cocktail party (in the classic, old-fashioned sense), the evening should go something like this. 

If You’re the Host...

Stock the bar.“I always have liquor on hand,” says Charleston-based Tara Guérard, who, as one of the South’s leading event designers, has lots of five-o’clock friends. “Vodka, gin, scotch, and bourbon -- I think rum is optional -- and of course, I offer red and white wine.” She also keeps tequila and Champagne, as well as a cabinet of tonic, club soda, Coke, Diet Coke, and ginger ale. Knowing what your guests drink is the key to being a successful host. Also, consider the season. “It’s the norm in the summer for everyone to drink gin and tonic; in the winter, dark liquors are more popular,” she says. If you’re having a large party, ask your liquor-store manager or your bartender about quantity. And remember to serve something for nondrinkers.

Be clear about what you’re serving. Patrick Dunne, New Orleans antiques shop owner and guru of all things epicurean, remembers one of his favorite stories: “I was dining at a famous, old-line New Orleans restaurant and asked the waiter why they didn’t have a
better wine list. He simply said, ‘We have a great selec­tion: The best red is bourbon and the best white, vodka.' ” The point: After you’ve stocked your bar, make no apologies for what you don’t have. When asked if she serves specialty drinks, Guérard answers with a resounding no: “When people are in your home, they want their regular drink.”

Exceptions would be if a certain drink is your specialty and guests are expecting it, or if you’re serving brunch. “I do milk punch or Bloody Marys in the morning,” says Dunne. “The difference is that at brunch the drink is part of the meal, but at dinner it’s a prelude.” A good host avoids embarrassment -- on the part of both host and guest -- by letting friends know what’s available when they walk in the door.

Open up space for serving. Though it’s most appropriate to open only one or two rooms in your home for cocktails, your guests will want to circulate. Inevitably, the bar becomes the center of attention, so be sure it’s easily accessible (move furniture out of the room if it will disrupt the flow), and consider a larger bar, or two bars, and more bartenders for a party of 60 or more. For a large party, consider hiring waiters to pass food. If your guest list is small and you don’t have a bartender, setting up a self-service bar is perfectly acceptable and may make people feel more at home.

Serve tasty hors d’oeuvres.“Pick two items and go overboard,” says Guérard. “Put a big bowl of strawberries in the middle of the table as your centerpiece, and add a big platter of sliced ham with cheese biscuits and artichoke relish.” A table scattered with 15 dips feels cluttered and chaotic. Serve something that can be easily handled, and offer appetizers that will whet the appetite, not fill up the guests before dinner.

Use glass. Avoid plastic at all costs. “It makes you feel good to hold a fabulous glass in your hand -- something with a great shape, a nice stirrer, and a pretty little cocktail napkin,” says Guérard. If your party is too large to pull out your heirloom crystal, rent what you need; it’s cost-efficient and the cleanup is simple.

If You’re the Guest...

Be on time. The cocktail “hour” should be just that -- enough time for everyone to have a drink or two. Forty-five minutes is the optimum length if dinner is being served. If no dinner is being served and people are coming and going, the time frame can be looser, but it’s generally best to be punctual, especially if the host specifies an ending time on the invitation.

Help out. If the party is informal and you notice an overworked bartender, help him out by helping yourself, especially if everything is accessible on the table. If you’re a close friend, greet guests at the door if the host is busy talking to other guests.

RESOURCES: Soirée by Tara Guérard, 843/577-5006, www.soireecharleston.com; Patrick Dunne, Lucullus, 504/528-9620, www.lucullusantiques.com.