· You have to know the rules of etiquette to entertain well, and then you can choose to break them.

· Make sure the table is pleasing to the eye and there aren't too many pieces crowding it. Give each piece space on the table. If you have wonderful candlesticks, for example, use them by themselves. Don't make table settings too ornate. If the table is fussy, people are fidgety.

· Use what you already have to decorate the table. For example, fill hurricane lanterns with stones, shells, or flowers.

· The food has to complement the table and vice versa. For example, if I find beautiful red roses, I might make a roasted red pepper soup, or if sweet oranges are in season, I might serve vanilla-scented oranges for dessert.

· The food should taste and look delicious but keep the "made-at-home" look. I avoid cascading towers of vegetables and very complicated foods -- and stick with the classics.

· Vary your ingredients so there's no repetition within a meal. For example, don't serve a soufflé, followed by an egg dish, followed by an egg-heavy dessert. I also think of the texture of food so as not to serve a creamed soup for the first course followed by a meat with a purée.

· If your table only seats eight, trying to squeeze in 10 will make it uncomfortable. Either stick to eight or set up two tables and invite more friends.

· If I'm serving a large group, I place wine decanters, baskets of bread, and any sauces on the table to be passed around. I sometimes set up a buffet or side table with extra glasses, wine, water, and dessert plates.

· Casualness doesn't mean being unprepared. All or most of the dishes have to be made before friends arrive. Once the doorbell rings, I'm out of the kitchen.

· Invite the most interesting people you know. Mix up your guest list to include people from all professions and backgrounds. Have name tags handy and encourage guests to mingle and get to know one another. The most successful parties are those where new contacts and friends are made.

· A great party must have music. Match your music to your party's theme. Lounge music suits a cocktail party, while a more formal dinner requires classical or light jazz.

· Place a series of lanterns on the front steps to welcome guests inside. Dim the lights inside your home, or only use lamps. Candles always lend a festive atmosphere. Place them around focal points in the room and in bathrooms reserved for guests. Lightly scented candles are nice in rooms where food will not be served, but keep candles on the dining table unscented.

· The menu is crucial, but it doesn't have to be complicated. I serve homemade food -- even if my home wasn't the one it was made in -- not complicated recipes, like those in fine restaurants. My favorite is to serve short ribs falling off the bone, shrimp Creole, or turkey hash. Serve something you can simmer on the stove without worrying about it getting overcooked.

· Make sure your guests have plenty of comfortable places to sit. Renting chairs is always an option, but they're rarely attractive. If you don't have enough chairs of your own, beg and borrow from friends and neighbors. Low stools and ottomans placed throughout the rooms serve as seating and impromptu tables.

· I never rent all matching glasses unless it's a really big party. I always mix it up. This is the time to bring out the Moroccan glasses you've been collecting, or the unusual sets you've found at flea markets.

· Flowers are a party's biggest expense. To keep costs down and your own sanity intact, think more simply. Look around at what you already have, and use only flowers you really love. Scatter small vases filled with flowers from your own garden throughout the house. You don't have to have a huge, expensive centerpiece. Tiny blooms at each place setting are much more personal.

· The most important rule: Relax. You've put a lot of hard work and planning into your party, so enjoy it. Once I walk down the stairs, that's it. I don't worry anymore.

· Plan ahead. Send personal items that you are most comfortable entertaining with to the location in advance.

· Evaluate local resources. Our friend Susan Massey knew everybody in the area and gave us the contacts we needed.

· Incorporate indigenous foods. We asked a local chef to tell us what was in season.

· Festive cocktails are an easy way to create ambience and add color. Chef Todd Reber of Vintij prepared sangria. It was not only refreshing in the warm weather, but it coordinated with our color palette.

· Make your arrangements last. Instead of fresh flowers, we used dried lotus blossoms.

· If you are planning an outdoor party, always have a backup game plan in case you need to move indoors.